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What’s Inflicting Issues With Flights Throughout America

With crashes and delays persevering with to position vital strains on vacationers, The Onion performed an investigation into the troubles plaguing American aviation. Listed below are the foundation causes of the issues going through flights throughout the nation.

Discover our findings intimately

Nebraska

20 mph velocity restrict whereas flying over faculties

Iowa

Pilot frightened off target by scarecrow

Texas

Certain as day, some cowpoke accomplished lassoed the aircraft proper outta the sky and received the guts of 1 Miss Cindy Mae

Boston, Massachusetts

God making an attempt to kill Mark Wahlberg once more

ArKansas

Shrieking passengers not precisely serving to pilot focus

Miami, Florida

Rowdy spring breakers flashing plane

Las VEgas, Nevada

Engines turned off so red-eye passengers can sleep

Alabama

Passengers all gathering to 1 facet of the aircraft to see what’s going to occur

Arizona

Tray desk not in upright place

Pacific Ocean

Boeing 737 nonetheless lacking wing from final time it crashed

Washington

Pilot making an attempt, simply this as soon as, to ground it into outer area

Chicago, Illinois

Skyscraper didn’t duck

Missouri

Air visitors controllers too busy bickering over who will get to say “roger” over the radio

Washington, D.C.

Planes maintain colliding with Susie Wiles’ signature bouffant