RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Take away Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Throughout Carpet

WASHINGTON—In an deal with touting the apply as a totally drug-free methodology to alleviate the frequent affliction, Secretary of Well being and Human Providers Robert F. Kennedy Jr. demonstrated Thursday how one can take away a tapeworm by scooting one’s ass throughout carpet. “Docs received’t inform you this, however you don’t want medicine for a tapeworm—all you want is the pure energy of friction,” Kennedy mentioned as he dropped to the ground, lifted his legs excessive, and dragged his ass alongside the White Home carpet throughout a press convention. “Large pharma will urge you to paralyze the tapeworm with harmful, addictive medication we don’t know something about, however they simply wish to preserve you contaminated with tapeworms so that you change into depending on them. Simply elevate your legs to verify your anus is available in direct contact with the carpet, then use your arms to propel your self ahead. It’s the pure approach folks used to eliminate tapeworms again within the ’60s and ’70s earlier than the health-industrial advanced corrupted every thing. I’ve been doing it each week for years to handle my fixed anal swelling.” Kennedy added that peer-reviewed scientific journals have been concerned in a large conspiracy to cowl up his analysis on ass-scooting and have always rejected all of the pictures he’s despatched them proving it really works.