Pundits Reward Power, Dexterity Required For Trump To Efficiently Elevate Center Finger

NEW YORK—Lauding the commander-in-chief’s response to being heckled at a Ford plant as a surprising bodily feat, pundits from a number of media shops praised President Donald Trump on Thursday for summoning the power and dexterity essential to efficiently carry his center finger. “The obscene gesture Trump made in Michigan was brimming with youthful vitality, to not point out fairly a little bit of technical finesse,” mentioned Fox Information’ Sean Hannity, echoing the sentiment of dozens of political commentators who remarked that the 79-year-old Trump had flipped the fowl with the deftness and vigor of a person half his age. “No president since Teddy Roosevelt has possessed the uncooked bodily prowess required not solely to carry his center finger, but in addition to carry it within the air—fully unassisted—for almost a full second. Most leaders would wrestle to flip somebody off as effortlessly as Trump did, and none of them may pull it off whereas strolling with such daring, muscular steps. It borders on superhuman, however that’s simply the form of athleticism you come to anticipate with such an unbelievable bodily specimen main our nation.” Hannity went on to commend the psychological acuity and “rapier wit” that allowed Trump to give you a retort for the heckler as scathing as “Fuck you.”