Prosthetic Hand Recipient Slowly Relearning To Lick Barbecue Sauce Off Fingers

COLUMBUS, OH—Talking with an unflagging sense of hope regardless of the lengthy, difficult street forward of him, prosthetic hand recipient James Bratton advised reporters Friday he was slowly studying to lick barbecue sauce off his fingers once more. “I’m nonetheless getting the dangle of transferring my sauce-covered hand to my prolonged tongue, however as soon as I struggled previous the ache, I used to be in a position to suck a full dollop of Candy Child Ray’s off my pinky yesterday,” stated Bratton, who thanked his spouse and youngsters for cheering him on each time he tried to slurp a bit of additional hickory taste from his new silicone fingers and credited his nurses with serving to him dunk his prosthetic hand in a bowl of barbecue sauce for additional licking apply. “I imply, proper after the surgical procedure, I needed to depend on [my wife] Jessica to lick all of the barbecue sauce off my new hand, which was, in fact, very humbling. However I couldn’t be extra happy with my progress, particularly after medical doctors warned that I may need to spend the remainder of my life eradicating all condiments, pizza grease, and french-fry residues from my fingers with a serviette.” At press time, Bratton had requested reporters to excuse him as a bodily therapist had wheeled an enormous platter of ribs into his hospital room.