My task at work this week was to put in writing a few ketamine-abusing antisemitic megalomaniacal billionaire who believes the world is probably going a simulation and everybody, apart from him, is a non-playable character who may be bent to his will, or deleted at his pleasure. I might’ve paid actual cash to put in writing about one other matter, however since I’m paid actual cash to put in writing on the subjects which might be assigned, I rolled up my sleeves and did the rattling factor. This time final yr, nevertheless, I might’ve demanded hazard pay, or let’s be trustworthy, crawled into mattress and hidden from a actuality that’s simply too miserable to ponder.
Except for a really transient interval once I practiced regulation, my whole profession has been in media. I’ve been a journalist, and I’ve labored in public relations, the place you principally encounter former journalists who A) have been downsized, B) needed to make more cash, or C) each. I get pleasure from my work. It fits me, as I like writing, and speaking to individuals, and studying new stuff, and explaining that stuff to individuals.
Media is an unlimited business. If it exists, there’s probably somebody, someplace protecting it. However the factor that unites media individuals is that this: Realizing what’s occurring — or making an attempt like hell to determine what’s occurring — is our job. Data is the coin of the realm.
About fifteen years in the past, for causes that stay unclear to this present day, media individuals determined that the longer term was a digital co-working house known as Twitter. Common individuals used Twitter to make dumb jokes, share footage of what they ate for lunch, and complain about tv exhibits they simply couldn’t cease watching. Media individuals used Twitter to do the identical issues, however we known as our posts “work.” For a time — and I’m not exaggerating right here — it was inconceivable to be a media particular person with out being on Twitter.
At first, Twitter was enjoyable and bizarre, then it was bizarre and never enjoyable, then it was blood-boiling, brain-breaking, and soul-crushing. In some unspecified time in the future, occurring Twitter felt like guzzling nihilism from a firehose of doom, whereas billions of mosquitos ate you alive.
I lower means again on Twitter when a faux billionaire turned its Orwellian primary character. Then, when an actual billionaire purchased the platform so individuals would snicker at his dumb jokes, I deleted my account. Quitting Twitter made it tougher to do my job and, maybe, harm my profession. However I left as a result of I discovered Twitter miserable. Or, as I might’ve informed you then, “Twitter makes me depressed.”
I lately defined all of this to my therapist, however I added a brand new wrinkle. Twitter, I defined, isn’t as related because it as soon as was, however our info ecosystem, aka my workspace, had skilled Twitterification. My concern was that merely doing my job uncovered me to a factor I believed to be the reason for my melancholy. Form of like a coal miner, solely as an alternative of black lung, I endure from darkish moods.
A phrase about melancholy. I’m an knowledgeable on the topic solely insofar as I’ve lived with it most of my life, however I’m not a psychological well being skilled. Folks have informed me melancholy is chemical, that it’s rooted in our lived expertise, that it’s brought on by the meals we eat, or not exercising sufficient, or not believing in god, or listening to Morrissey. The reality? I’ve no fucking thought what causes melancholy. What I do know is that I strongly affiliate my melancholy with doomscrolling unhealthy information. The truth is, most of my life I might’ve informed you my media weight loss program was the important thing to managing my melancholy.
A yr in the past, my melancholy acquired so unhealthy I had no selection however to face it. I started taking medicine, I began remedy, and I acquired critical about my yoga apply. These are working! I additionally began a brand new job final yr — one thing I don’t imagine would’ve been doable with out first addressing my psychological well being. However within the waning days of 2024, I noticed that my new job was on a collision course with a Twitterfied info ecosystem, and I started to concern that I’d slip again right into a deep, darkish gap, as I assumed that consuming miserable information would make me depressed.
I used to be fallacious about that.
Medicine, remedy, and yoga had made me stronger and extra resilient. Simply as vital, I clawed my means out of the darkness, and within the course of, proved to myself, for the primary time, that I might beat my melancholy. Once I started that journey, I didn’t know what it felt prefer to be on the opposite facet of melancholy, and so I had no understanding of my vacation spot; actually, I wasn’t even certain if a spot known as Life With out Despair was actual. Reality: it’s.
And right here I’m. The collision I most feared occurred this week. I drank nihilism from the firehose of doom, whereas billions of mosquitos ate me alive. My blood boiled, my mind broke, my soul was crushed. It was miserable, however I’m not depressed.
Which brings me to an epiphany that is perhaps apparent to you, however wasn’t apparent to me.
Prepared?
There’s a distinction between miserable and depressed.
As epiphanies go, this one isn’t Earth-shattering. It’s not Archimedes within the pool, or Newton underneath an apple tree. It’s only a easy lesson that took me forty-seven years to be taught.
I’m sharing this lesson for 2 causes. First, I imagine that if I write it down, I’m extra more likely to bear in mind it. Second, this lesson would possibly assist somebody.
These are miserable occasions, however that’s not the identical factor as being depressed.
Time for some excellent news. The state of affairs normie group stepped up large time to make the goat yoga story occur. Subsequent steps: reserving a category, doing a little ace-level reportage, and bringing that story to you. Keep tuned.
Within the meantime, an enormous goat yoga thanks to
, , Kevin Davis, , Margaret Frisinger, Monica Piasecki, and !
State of affairs Regular is free, however some superb state of affairs normies pay for subscriptions, which retains me in good standing with the Substack badge authorities. An enormous shout out to the most recent paid subscriber: Kathy Hrabluk. Thanks, Kathy, and don’t overlook to search for the great vibes headed your means.
I ask, perhaps you reply
-
What tv exhibits do you wish to complain about?
-
What’s the newest meal you took a photograph of? Did you share it on social media? Why?
-
Nihilism? Clarify.
-
Depressed or miserable? No fallacious solutions right here.
-
Bought an epiphany you wish to share?
