It is bleak, says the handyman

Each time the shit hits the fan within the previous US of A, Christina says one thing alongside the strains of, “Oh my god, we’re Rome.” She means historic Rome, and what she’s saying is that America is collapsing quicker than an undercooked soufflé. My response: “We ought to be so fortunate.” The Roman Republic went the gap, almost 500 years; the Roman Empire went one other 5 centuries; when you depend the Byzantine Empire (aka the Jap Roman Empire), add one other thousand years or so. Level is, Rome lasted, and lasted, and lasted. It’s historical past’s Energizer Bunny. In the meantime, america turns 249 this summer season, when you’re a kind of individuals who counts from the Declaration of Independence, which is foolish, as a result of our revolution took one other seven years, and it took one other 6 years after that to draft and ratify the Structure. In comparison with Rome, we’re in our early teenagers — and to take a look at our politics, we certain act prefer it.

Which brings me to Erik, our handyman. He came visiting the opposite day to assist me grasp a chunk of artwork in our eating room. I like seeing Erik. He does nice work, and we all the time have good conversations.

“Have you ever seen Adolescence?” Erik requested as quickly as he walked within the door.

I had seen Adolescence. It’s a Netflix present that begins out as a typical crime story, however shortly morphs right into a drama that explores bullying, social media, misogyny, male rage, masculine stereotypes, and incel tradition.

“As the daddy of three boys, it’s my worst nightmare,” Erik stated.

We talked about his boys. He’s not too fearful about his oldest, a highschool pupil athlete with a kickass GPA and a nasty curveball that’ll possible earn him a scholarship to play baseball in faculty. However the youthful boys are a special story. They’re hooked on screens, hooked on video video games and social media. It weirds Erik out as a result of they’d somewhat take a look at their telephones than play outdoors, or get ice cream, watch a film, learn a comic book ebook, or — get this — go to Disneyland.

“That scene the place the cop’s son explains social media to his dad freaked me out,” Erik stated. “I spotted that after I’m taking a look at my sons’ telephones, I in all probability don’t even perceive what they’re doing. You don’t know what you don’t know.”

It’s a disturbing scene as a result of it upends actuality. As Erik defined, “You suppose what your youngsters are as much as, however then at some point, you understand you’re clueless. Not clueless in the best way our mother and father had been clueless. They knew we snuck out, drank, smoked pot, and had intercourse as a result of they did that too. These youngsters are completely different.”

We will’t show it, however Erik and I each consider we’re higher off than youngsters at present. Our teen years had been traumatic / lovely / unusual / ridiculous / wondrous / formative, however above all, analog. Our telephones didn’t ping us a thousand instances a day to remind us that we had been uncool, as a result of we didn’t have fucking telephones. Social media didn’t make us really feel anxious, depressed, entitled, or enraged, as a result of social media didn’t exist. Influencers didn’t bombard us with propaganda so we’d be a part of their dead-end communities and purchase their snake oil, as a result of our era had function fashions, not influencers. And OK yeah, a few of these function fashions sucked, however their maintain on our consideration wasn’t that sturdy. Ultimately, guys like Erik and I seemed as much as males like Kirk Gibson. Gibby is actually flawed as a result of he’s a human being. He was additionally a great function mannequin as a result of he demonstrated virtues like arduous work, resilience, and displaying the fuck up.

Because it turned out, the issues with youngsters at present had been a prelude to a wide-ranging dialog that ran two hours — lengthy sufficient for Eric to hold the framed print, for me to textual content photographs to Christina to ensure every part seemed excellent, for Erik to breakdown the field and delivery pallet the print got here in, and for the 2 of us to drink two Coke Zeros apiece whereas we kibitzed. I’m summarizing the dialog as a result of Scenario Regular is a e-newsletter, not a novel. However the gist of our speak was American decline, and these are the highlights:

• The 30-something younger males we each know who’ve did not launch and live with their mother and father, smoking weed, gathering weapons, and getting their info from 4Chan.

• A latest audit revealing that the company chargeable for addressing homelessness in Los Angeles can not account for billions of {dollars} in taxpayer cash. Associated: The issue of homelessness in Los Angeles appears to be getting worse, or on the very least, isn’t getting higher.

  • Los Angeles neighborhoods we love & fear about: Hollywood, Okay-town, Downtown, MacArthur Park.

• A nationwide immigration coverage that reminds Erik and me of our youth, when California embraced merciless, and finally ineffective, “self-deportation” insurance policies that banned undocumented individuals from faculties, healthcare, and different providers.

  • Erik’s recollections:

    • A little bit woman in his elementary faculty class crying as a result of her mother and father had been afraid to ship her to highschool.

    • Asking his Guatemalan mother and father if he needed to go away faculty too.

  • The brand new ebook by Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson about why it’s so arduous to construct in California. Trace: Wealthy liberals love progress, however not essentially of their yard.

    • The development crew Erik manages and the way guys aren’t displaying as much as work as a result of they’re afraid of ICE raids.

    • The truth that tariffs will enhance the price of constructing supplies, whereas immigration raids will cut back the labor provide, making it even more durable to construct.

  • Important jobs Individuals received’t do. Trace: These jobs are soiled, harmful, low-paying, back-breaking work that our society likes to shit on, assuming we even discover these jobs or the individuals doing them.

  • Erik’s sister, who was just lately laid off from the Division of Agriculture. She labored in California’s Central Valley, which accounts for 1% of U.S. farmland, however produces 25% of America’s fruit and veggies. In response to Erik’s sister, the farmers there voted for Trump as a result of they stated he’d “repair the economic system and throw out the illegals,” however now their employees aren’t displaying up they usually’re taking it on the chin due to tariffs, so that they’re even angrier, however they blame everybody besides Trump for his or her woes.

  • Santa Monica’s nativist son, Stephen “I’m Jewish, however white nationalism is the best way” Miller, who grew up in California across the identical time Erik and I did.

• Erik’s want for George R. R. Martin to lastly end his Sport of Thrones sequence.

  • My competition that Martin received’t end these books as a result of tv has extra money, extra cache, and reaches extra individuals than books.

• My worry that Robert Caro received’t end the fifth and ultimate quantity of his LBJ sequence.

  • How LBJ stole the 1948 Senate race by stuffing poll packing containers and enlisting gunslingers to thwart makes an attempt at a recount.

  • My perception that Nixon and LBJ despised one another as a result of they had been reverse sides of the identical corrupt coin.

  • Christina’s tongue-in-cheek remark that if I like historical past a lot, I ought to marry it.

  • Erik’s tongue-in-cheek assertion that Christina has some extent.

• The unAmerican threats to annex Canada.

  • Canadian fighter jets defending New York Metropolis after September eleventh.

  • Earlier American makes an attempt to invade Canada, and the way these makes an attempt resulted in catastrophe as a result of our neighbors to the north aren’t any joke. See: The Invasion of Quebec throughout the American Revolution and the Conflict of 1812. See additionally: The truth that Canadians are so powerful they added an additional 10 yards to their soccer fields.

    • Funniest Canadians, in our opinions: John Sweet, Seth Rogen, Martin Brief, and Jim Carrey.

• The truth that DEI doesn’t trigger wild fires.

  • Mutual support from pink states, blue states, and different international locations, together with our neighbors, Canada and Mexico.

• An all-against-all politics fueled by anger, lies, and hate.

  • Our recollection that politics in pre-internet America may very well be imply and dumb and phony, however by no means all-encompassing the best way it’s at present, as a result of more often than not you simply didn’t know (or care) what somebody’s politics had been.

• Pardons for insurrectionists.

  • This quote about authoritarianism: “There should be in-groups whom the regulation protects however doesn’t bind, alongside out-groups whom the regulation binds however doesn’t defend.”

  • The worry that hundreds of violent, armed individuals now have get out of jail free playing cards, so long as they assault the correct individuals.

  • The truth that neither one in every of us needed to be instructed that you simply’re not speculated to take a dump on the Home Speaker’s desk.

• Dan Carlin’s Hardcore Historical past and Frequent Sense podcasts.

• The Sign app shit-show.

• The conflict on the federal forms.

• A schizophrenic society that’s defunding primary scientific analysis, whereas concurrently barreling forward to develop synthetic intelligence, robotics, gene modifying, 3D printing, nuclear fusion, and quantum computing.

“Issues are bleak,” Erik concluded. “I believe it’s going to worsen earlier than it will get higher.”

What might I say to that? Not a lot, sadly. Like I instructed Erik in some unspecified time in the future in our rambling dialog, “we’re fools to consider that progress is inevitable; historical past tells us that we’re simply as prone to put the automobile in Drive as we’re to place it in Reverse.” Nonetheless, I needed to finish issues on a optimistic be aware, not as a result of I’m a Pollyanna, however as a result of I do know that cynicism is the highway to break.

“The piece ties the room collectively, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s a cool photograph,” Erik agreed. “I don’t know why, but it surely makes me comfortable. I believe perhaps as a result of the couple on the motorbike seem like they don’t have any cares on the planet.”

“Artwork, dude. It nourishes the soul, in good instances and unhealthy.”

Because of

, , and we’re somewhat greater than midway to unlocking my subsequent act of absurdist journalism: Waymo!

What’s Waymo? It’s a robotic taxi, which means there’s no human driver. Waymo is obtainable in a couple of cities, together with Los Angeles. The plan is to obtain the app, hail a trip, and dwell to write down about it.

I’m budgeting $50 for the trip. I don’t know if that’s an excessive amount of, or not sufficient, however when you’re a human being who’s interested in robotic taxis, that is the story to fund. Ship any quantity by way of PayPal and let’s get this present on the highway!

You understand how this works👇

1. Is it bleak? Clarify.

2. Erik and I are each middle-aged American males, i.e. we’re extremely prone to ethical panic. Ought to we heed the knowledge of the poet-warrior Ice Dice and examine ourselves earlier than we wreck ourselves?

3. What are your conflict plans? Make them public!

4. Artwork? Assume outdoors the field on this one.

5. Did anybody need to let you know, at any level in your life, that you simply’re not speculated to take a dump on the Home Speaker’s desk?

Depart a remark

I wish to thank the state of affairs normies who’ve bought and skim my novel, Not Protected for Work. I like listening to from all of you, whether or not you permit a overview, or drop me a line.

I do know it could sound odd, however when you take pleasure in Scenario Regular, dozens of state of affairs normies advocate taking an opportunity on a slacker noir set within the porn trade on the daybreak of Internet 2.0.

Not Protected for Work is obtainable at Amazon and all the opposite ebook locations.

*The book is .99, so you may’t go too far flawed. Simply sayin’.

I’m off subsequent week, hoping to return again with a narrative or two.