Subsequent week I’m going to New England to speak about my upcoming new e-book at a convention only for indie booksellers (yay!) and I used to be speaking to Elizabeth (the stunning one who runs Nowhere Bookshop) about it and she or he requested “The place in New England, as a result of it’s fairly large?” and I assumed she was loopy as a result of isn’t New England a small state? Like, it’s so small I can’t even keep in mind what the capital of New England is after which Victor and Elizabeth simply stared at me in horror, as a result of apparently New England isn’t a state in any respect. I assumed that they had been fucking with me however they defined that New England was an entire group of states and requested if I additionally thought “the midwest” was a state, and I stated, “Clearly not, as a result of there’s a ‘the’ within the title. That’s how you realize it’s a bunch. ‘The southwest.’ ‘The Atlantic Seaboard.’ Like, if New England isn’t a state then why do we’ve got The New England Patriots? We don’t have “The Mormon Hall Stallions,” will we? That is too complicated. Petition to rename New England “‘The Higher Righties’.”
After which they checked out me like I used to be even stupider and I questioned if New England wasn’t even within the higher proper of the map. and reminded them that they didn’t train me Geography in highschool as a result of I used to be too busy taking lessons on judging-cotton, cattle insemination, boll-weevil eradication and sq. dancing. (Thanks, Texas! Tremendous useful!)
Elizabeth was like, “You by no means realized the songs in regards to the states?” after which proceeded to ship me one thing referred to as “The Nifty Fifty,” which was decidedly not a bop and didn’t even rhyme. Then she despatched me “Wakko’s 50 State Capitols” and I used to be like, “Ringo Star as a mouse instructing me geography sung to the melody of each sq. dancing class I ever took was not on my bingo card for at this time, however I assume right here we’re.”
So my query to you is, what’s one thing you realized as an grownup that made you’re feeling extremely silly, as a result of I can’t be alone right here.
Additionally, whoever determined that we must always capitalize “Capitol” when it refers back to the constructing however not “capital” when it refers back to the capital metropolis that the Capitol is in is on my without end shitlist. Additionally, spellcheck is telling me “shitlist” isn’t even a phrase. I fucking surrender.
