FBI Brokers Watch In Silence As Kash Patel Will get Ass Kicked By UFC Fighter

QUANTICO, VA—Wincing because the bureau’s director breathlessly staggered to his ft throughout their first coaching seminar with skilled MMA athletes, a gaggle of FBI brokers reportedly watched in silence over the weekend as Kash Patel bought his ass kicked by a UFC fighter. In keeping with sources, the brokers shifted uncomfortably on the sidelines of a makeshift octagon on the FBI Academy health club whereas reigning UFC light-weight champion Justin Gaethje pummeled Patel with a barrage of jabs, hooks, and leg kicks in an indication meant to enhance the brokers’ effectiveness within the discipline. Eyewitnesses confirmed that a number of brokers exhaled sharply because the visibly woozy Patel was stunned for a protracted ground-and-pound from the seasoned fighter, with Patel emitting a ragged squealing sound as Gaethje’s elbow repeatedly struck him within the photo voltaic plexus. A hoarse Patel is claimed to have gasped, “See how he’s placing me on this triangle choke?” to the emotionless crowd earlier than crossing his eyes and falling utterly limp. At press time, a number of brokers had been seen exchanging glances of slight concern after the bruised, urine-soaked Kash Patel had not stirred from unconsciousness for 3 minutes.