Pricey Drunk Man Who Wants To Get One thing Off His Chest,
I’m a single mother with a 2-year-old son, and the individuals within the condominium above us play loud music that wakes him from his naps. They flip it down after I ask, however the quantity at all times goes again up a couple of minutes later. The owner, sadly, refuses to become involved. Is it time to file a noise criticism with the police? My little man wants his sleep! —Cautious In Harmony
Pricey Cautious,
Okay. So, pay attention. You’re, like, considered one of my finest buddies. Significantly. You’re, like, such a great individual. Anyone on this bar asks me, I’ll inform ’em straight up: This man is the most effective! You’re the most effective, and that’s why the drinks are on me tonight. The entire drinks. So, dude, you realize I’ll at all times let you know the reality, proper? As a result of honesty is every part to me. Every little thing. So. I actually wanna let you know one thing. I actually wanna—hey, okay, let’s simply do another shot first.
Pricey Drunk Man Who Wants To Get One thing Off His Chest,
I wrote in a couple of months in the past about getting my youngsters to assist with the chores, and I wished to let you realize your recommendation labored like a appeal! Not solely are they chipping in round the home extra, however I’ve observed a rise of their vanity and general work ethic. Thanks a lot on your assist—now if solely I might get my husband to take your recommendation!
—Grateful In Georgia
Pricey Grateful,
It’s so rattling good to see you, man. Like, for actual, I’ve been wanting to speak to you for fuckin’ ever. Since, like, Evan’s wedding ceremony. What was that, two years in the past? Three years? Holy shit, dude. We’re getting older. Fuck. We’re, like, changing into our dads. The place’d that bartender go? Whew! Fuckin’ Jim Beam, man. Beam me up, Scotty! Ha ha. Your dad was at all times good to me, although. Your mother, too. You’ve obtained an excellent household, dude. And your sister. Ashley. Man, she’s like…no offense, however you’re fortunate she’s your sister. Significantly. She ever point out me?
Pricey Drunk Man Who Wants To Get One thing Off His Chest,
I run a small artwork gallery, and subsequent month we’re opening a brand new house with work by some essential artists. Sadly, my mother and father have by no means accepted of my life selections and are nonetheless indignant with me for not becoming a member of the household building enterprise. I actually need to invite them to my opening, however we haven’t spoken in over a yr and I’m scared they’ll say no. What ought to I do?
—Prospering In Provo
Pricey Prospering,
I do know, I do know, I do know, I do know, I do know, I do know, pay attention. Look, look, look. Hear. I do know.
Look. Wait, you see that man there? That man. He’s obtained the identical fuckin’ footwear as me. You see that? Identical footwear! Identical fuckin’ shade and every part. Hear, man, I’m so glad we’re having this dialog.
Pricey Drunk Man Who Wants To Get One thing Off His Chest,
My husband is retiring on the finish of the yr, and whereas I’ve been encouraging him to choose up some hobbies, he simply received’t pay attention. He tends to get depressed with out one thing to occupy his time, although he’d by no means admit it. (His father was the identical means!) How can I gently nudge him right into a wholesome pastime?
—Decided In Denver
Pricey Decided,
Typically, like, I’ll simply look within the mirror and stare at myself and have, like, no thought who I’m even . You ever try this? It’s, like, fuuuuuuuuuck, you realize? As a result of I do know I’m there—I do know, like, I’m fuckin’ actual and shit. However I attempt to look into the eyes, and people eyes, they’re simply staring again at me, however, like, there’s nothing. Simply fuckin’…nothing. Hey, I gotta take a piss. You good or do you want one other?
Pricey Drunk Man Who Wants To Get One thing Off His Chest,
After 4 years, my girlfriend and I lastly obtained a spot collectively, and I couldn’t be happier. The one drawback is, she’s making the spare room all good and tidy so her sister can keep over when she visits from Asheville, and I’d somewhat simply have it’s a chill spot the place I can calm down and play video video games. Shouldn’t I’ve extra say within the matter? Assist!
—Stressed In Raleigh
Pricey Stressed,
I’d fuckin’ take a bullet for you. For actual. For you, and on your sister. I like—I like you. So, like, I gotta come clear about this shit. As a result of I actually love you and would die for you, so I can’t dwell with myself if I’m not, like, 100% trustworthy with you. Come right here, man. Take a look at me. Oh fuck. Hear. Prepared? Okay. So…oh shit, is that this Outkast? That is my jam. My child don’t fiddle as a result of she messed round and he or she don’t know what for! That’s André 3000! I like André 3000. And also you, and your loved ones. It’s all love, man.
