Aaron Rodgers Suffers Torn Cerebellum After Making an attempt Telepathic Audible

PITTSBURGH—In a devastating setback that would sideline the quarterback for weeks, sources confirmed Sunday that Aaron Rodgers suffered a torn cerebellum after trying a telepathic audible throughout the Steelers’ opening drive towards the Browns. “He appeared like he was in an excellent rhythm, after which abruptly he’s on the turf clutching his head, screaming for somebody to convey over his crystals,” stated Steelers head coach Gabe Amponsah, who defined that the harm occurred when Rodgers unsuccessfully tried to name a third-down shift to a submit route by transmitting “pure cognitive vitality” on to teammates’ minds, triggering rapid bodily paralysis and a wierd metallic style in his mouth. “After I acquired out on the sphere, he instructed me a darkish religious power had blocked his mindspeak and that one thing inside his mind had popped. Aaron insisted he might keep within the recreation by astrally projecting into a special type, however he was clearly in extreme psychogenic misery and wanted to come back out.” At press time, Rodgers was reportedly in steady situation after donning a do-it-yourself neuro-healing helmet customary from a colander, D batteries, and the feathers of uncommon birds in an effort to realign his cerebral vibrations together with his True Consciousness.