Californians Approve Measure To Redraw ‘Garfield’

SACRAMENTO, CA—Passing the Democrat-backed initiative with a powerful 60% of the vote, Californians overwhelmingly accredited a poll measure this week to redraw the cartoon character Garfield. “The folks of California have spoken, and so they need their humorous pages to have an overweight orange tabby cat who displays the character design sensibilities our Founding Fathers stood for,” stated California Gov. Gavin Newsom, including that the proposition to drastically alter Garfield’s eyes, limb proportions, and fur coloration was a direct retaliation towards Texas Republicans’ ongoing efforts to redraw Dilbert. “Whereas Garfield has traditionally been redrawn each 10 years primarily based on enter from Jim Davis, these usually are not regular occasions. We can not return to the squinting, quadrupedal Garfield of the Seventies and ’80s. Republican overreach is jeopardizing the comedian strips we maintain dearest, and Californians have given us a mandate to create a Garfield who’s taller, a bit fuller within the hips, and has whiskers that transfer round extra in response to his feelings.” At press time, California Republicans had reportedly moved to dam the Garfield redrawing course of with an prolonged arc focusing solely on Jon Arbuckle and his former roommate Lyman.