Biologists Announce There Completely Nothing We Can Be taught From Clams

WOODS HOLE, MA—Saying they noticed no conceivable cause to hassle with the bivalve mollusks, biologists on the Woods Gap Oceanographic Establishment introduced Thursday that there was completely nothing to be realized from clams. “Our research have discovered that whereas a few of their shells look fairly cool, clams actually don’t have something to show us,” stated the group’s chief scientist, Francis Dawkins, clarifying that it wasn’t merely the case that researchers had already realized the whole lot they may from clams, however somewhat that there had by no means been something to be taught from them and by no means could be. “We actually can’t educate them something. It’s not like you possibly can practice them to run by means of a maze the way in which you’d with mice. We’ve tried, and so they just about simply lie there. From what I’ve noticed, they’ve much more in frequent with rocks than they do with us. They’re technically alive, I suppose, if you wish to name that dwelling. They open and shut generally, however, I imply, so does a pockets. In the event you’ve used a pockets, kind of all there may be to learn about clams. Fairly boring.” The discovering follows a research carried out by marine biologists final summer season that concluded clams don’t have a lot taste, both, tasting just about the identical as the whole lot else on a fried seafood platter.