Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Turning into An Eel Is A Signal Of Good Well being’

WASHINGTON—Instantly showing on the lectern after rising from a gap within the flooring, a limbless, slippery Robert F. Kennedy Jr. introduced at a White Home press convention Friday that “changing into an eel is an indication of fine well being.” “Huge Pharma might have brainwashed individuals to suppose in any other case, however a wholesome human physique must be one lengthy, even tube with a fin working down its again,” stated the well being and human companies secretary, who warned that the common American youngster is now so filled with chemical substances and preservatives that they now not secrete sufficient protecting mucus to cowl their pores and skin. “People have been getting sicker and sicker ever since trendy medication satisfied us we want legs and arms. In reality, if we have been consuming a correct eating regimen of bugs, mollusks, and sea urchins as an alternative of this agricultural rubbish, we wouldn’t want all these vaccines. You have a look at the ocean, and there’s no autism in there. It’s not conspiratorial pondering to place two and two collectively. I imply, individuals are so massive today they will barely slither right into a crevasse or burrow within the sand to cover from predators. You would possibly suppose this yellow-green, slimy pores and skin is a nasty signal, however I’ve by no means felt higher—and I’ve by no means carried out higher within the bed room both.” Kennedy added that he could be rescinding all authorities approval for glasses and contacts, saying wholesome individuals ought to have the ability to navigate waterways utilizing their sense of scent.