I’ve at all times been flippantly obsessive about birds, and it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older, which I can solely assume is one other signal of perimenopause that nobody warned me about. (Significantly, a buddy of mine advised me that some ladies’s labias can simply go lacking in menopause. What within the precise fuck??) Sorry. That is presupposed to be about birds…not labias. I’m out of my ADD meds, as you may most likely inform.
Anyway, just lately Victor purchased me a kind of chicken buddy feeder cameras and I adore it a lot, but it surely has a variety of issues, together with an AI robotic identifier that appears to have by no means seen birds earlier than:
“No, buddy…fairly certain that’s not a pelican perched on the hummingbird feeder.”
Extra regarding although was after I would see birds on the feeder however the chicken buddy wouldn’t activate to document them. I advised Victor that it was defective as a result of I’d simply caught my entire head within the feeder and it didn’t activate or give me a notification that anybody was there, however Victor was like, “That’s as a result of it’s good sufficient to weed out something that isn’t birds” and I used to be like, “WELL, HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS THEN?”
And he simply sighed deeply, which I took as an acknowledgement that I used to be doing trouble-shooting a lot better than he thought I may. Nevertheless it nonetheless wasn’t working correctly so I acquired an previous taxidermied chicken from my shelf and waved it in entrance of the cameras to see how lengthy it might take to set the cameras off and after about 20 minutes my arm was falling off but it surely lastly triggered and Victor texted me an image and was like, “See, it’s completely working. There’s a chicken on the market now.”
After which I kind of questioned if he was paying consideration in any respect as a result of how usually do you see a raggedy-ass chicken carrying a department and a human hand (not usually, hopefully?) and so I introduced it again inside and despatched this image from the kitchen:
“I CAUGHT HIM AND HE LIVES WITH US NOW. WELCOME HOME, FLAPPY GILMORE!”
Then Victor did one other deep sigh and moved the wifi thingie nearer to the chicken feeders and that appears to have fastened the issue, though Victor identified that the brand new drawback was that I’d been maniacally waving a useless chicken round within the yard for 20 minutes and that I’d most likely freaked the fuck out of each chicken in our neighborhood, and that’s honest but additionally I’m fairly certain pelicans are unflappable. (No pun supposed.)
After which a couple of minutes later this sequence common landed and it gave me virtually the very same wtf look that Victor offers me and that’s most likely fairly honest all issues thought-about.
And I did really feel a little bit unhealthy, however then I noticed this:
That could be a horrible image of a hawk standing at my curb and observing me. Then he noticed that I used to be wanting and he refused to make eye contact and was like, “I’m simply ready for my uber, girl” and I’d wish to assume that me swinging a big useless chicken round in my yard for 20 minutes satisfied him it was not definitely worth the effort to stalk my little finches and Squirrelly Jackson. I imply, it will possibly’t damage.
Wow. That was a loopy one. Sorry. Somebody take me to choose up my ADD meds.
