Pussy cats are the cutest little animals in the entire large world, and I’ve a ferocious (however adowable) widdle black cat (seen above) that may scratch your face off should you disagree. Oh, you assume your pet is cute? Pfft, does it curl up in a sunbeam and make you beg for its affections? Precisely. Get outta right here together with your darn canine.
You recognize what else are cute? Muppets. Oh man, they’re so cute! Like Abby Cadabby with these huge blue eyes? Or Elmo along with his cute little snort? Man, SO CUTE! Hell, they even made a Muppet whose entire id was cuteness, and now he’s the star of an extended working theme park attraction which isn’t going anyplace anytime quickly! (Observe: This text was written in August 2021).
So if kitty cats are cute, and Muppets are cute, it solely stands to motive that Muppet cats could be SUPER cute! That’s double cuteness! So let’s take a look at a pair now and see if that’s true!
ARGH! What the hell is that? That’s not cute! This cat from Muppet Christmas Carol is terrible! It seems to be so offended. Nope, I don’t like that. That’s not a cute Muppet cat. Let’s take a look at one other one.
OH MY GOD! Oh, sorry, that scared me. That is Catgut, and that identify is correct, as a result of she seems to be like a mound of cat guts. Actually, why would they make that? What’s incorrect along with her? Ugh, superb, let’s maintain going.
MY EYES! Why is it so easy!? I do know there are Sphynx cats on the market, however their heads are notoriously small, not the watermelon this dude is sporting! And people ears! They’re haunting… I don’t wish to look once more…
SATAN! Uh, sorry, I’m so sorry. I believe it was the eyes that obtained me. I imply they’re actually making an attempt with the good blue bow, however it may solely get us to this point. It’s not as terrible as that earlier orange monstrosity, so possibly we’re on the incline?
OH FOR GOD’S SAKE! What the hell are we even doing? Why is it so ugly? Look, I get it, it’s imagined to at all times be scared as a result of it lives with Scary Mary. I learn the rattling factor’s Muppet Wiki web page. However these eyes… No thanks. Alright, let’s strive only a couple extra…
AHH! Nicely, that’s probably the most harrowing factor I’ve ever seen in my life. I do know most cats of those cats are scary to have a look at, however she’s the primary who seems to be like she’d even be tremendous imply to me. My cat is already tremendous imply to me, however not less than he’s not a caught up socialite like this factor.
HELL SPAWN! That is the primary cat on the record that appears prefer it’s been in a horrible accident. For this reason you could maintain your cats indoors. As a result of in any other case they run out on the highway and get hit by a cement truck and seem like this, and but one way or the other they live on because the factor of nightmares!
Okay, okay. Look, we’ve tried home cats. However there are additionally huge cats! Like lions! I bear in mind Chicago the Lion! He’s cool! Perhaps there are different huge cats which can be cute!
WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT!? Okay however why? However why although? Like, why would they even try this? I assumed possibly it was a wacky Dr Suess lion however no, this factor was on the German model on Sesame Avenue. Haven’t the German’s been by way of sufficient? I’ve simply learn she wasn’t constructed by Muppet Workshop, so possibly she isn’t an official Muppet? So possibly that makes it not so ba– nope, I appeared once more, it’s dangerous.
Ahhhh, that’s higher. Little Murray Sparkles, the cat so cute I named my very own cat after him. That is good. That is my pleased place. What a bit of cutie patootie. He’s the goodest pussy cat, and I would really like him to curve up on my lap after which drink milk from a saucer.
I really feel so significantly better. I don’t know what I used to be so afraid of. Okay, possibly we strive yet one more cat. Let’s go for one more huge cat! A tiger this time!
I surrender.
By Jarrod Fairclough – [email protected]
Click on right here to marvel if Khan the tiger is sick on the ToughPigs Discord!
