‘GTA VI’ Delayed Till Builders Get Grades Up

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Scolding 1000’s of workers for letting themselves turn out to be distracted from their education, Rockstar Video games introduced Friday that Grand Theft Auto VI could be delayed till the studio’s builders obtained their grades up. “We perceive how a lot our workforce desires to launch a painstakingly crafted Vice Metropolis into the world, however there’s simply no approach we will do this for them till we see them put their nostril to the grindstone in Algebra II,” mentioned Strauss Zelnick, CEO of Rockstar guardian firm Take Two Interactive, stressing {that a} C-minus in biology “simply wouldn’t minimize it,” significantly given how a lot video games price to develop as of late. “The straightforward truth is that they’re shedding observe of what issues most, which is making the consideration roll, discovering a summer time job, and actually excited about their future. You’ll be able to’t simply skip half your homework assignments and spend all of your time engaged on jiggle physics for the strip golf equipment scattered throughout the fictional state of Leonida. Possibly in the event that they get that GPA up, we’ll take into account releasing GTA VI for them in Q2 of 2026. However that’s an enormous possibly.” Zelnick added that it wouldn’t damage if Rockstar’s workforce of software program engineers all tried becoming a member of the junior varsity observe workforce.