Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Large Pedophile’ Information Cycle

WASHINGTON—Expressing deep fondness for these long-gone halcyon days, the U.S. inhabitants collectively yearned Tuesday for the relative calm of the “president is a big pedophile” information cycle. “It was a less complicated time then, again when all folks needed to speak about was the chief of the nation molesting underage ladies,” mentioned Denver resident Scott Munoz, certainly one of hundreds of thousands of Individuals who famous the comparative peacefulness of the general public discourse that surrounded Donald Trump presumably utilizing his friendship with the late intercourse trafficker Jeffrey Epstein to prey on helpless minors and contrasted it with the present tumult marked by the president undermining world alliances in pursuit of Greenland, unlawfully capturing Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, and inspiring the violence of ICE brokers. “I’m not saying every thing was excellent when all of the nation cared about was the commander-in-chief groping prepubescent ladies, however these days it’s nearly quaint to suppose that we have been as soon as so involved that the president had signed an incriminating letter about secretly being interested in kids, and that his signature was supposed to double because the pubes on a lewd drawing. Recently, once I hear about ICE murdering folks within the streets, I do know I shouldn’t have taken that point without any consideration.” Munoz added that if he had to decide on an island, he would select Pedophile over Greenland any day.