It’s been nearly 400 years, and the English language has but to beat “smell-smock” and “trouble-gusset.”
“Futz” (Vagina)
A Schuylkill Register regulation report from 1941 said that “Mr. Edward Lutz testified that the respondent advised his spouse that ‘she had a pimple in her futz’ and was drunk.” For the report, “pimple” has been slang for penis at instances.
“Powdered Beef” (Penis)
In 1603, Shakespeare wrote of a girl who “has eaten up all her beef,” whereas one other author a century later wrote, “The Mettal’s stronger that’s nicely souder’d, / And Beef retains sweeter as soon as ’tis powder’d.”
“Purse” (Vagina)
In 1386, a Chaucer character boasted about how his spouse was the perfect of the bunch: “Of whiche I’ve pyked out the beste, / Bothe of right here nether purs and of right here cheste.”
“Gimcrack” (Penis)
In a 1683 story titled “London Jilt,” somebody wrote, “Limberham, although Impotent, caressed and embraced me so passionately… that I might have given all I had within the World that his Gimcrack had been in higher situation.”
“The Bookbinder’s Spouse” (Vagina)
This seems to be a play on the entire “within the sheets” side of doin’ it. Within the 18th and nineteenth centuries, it will be utilized in bawdy euphemisms like “The bookbinder’s spouse; that stitches finest in sheets” and “The bookbinder’s spouse manufacturing in sheets.”
“Cockold’s Bow” (Penis)
In 1468, somebody wrote, “A cockoldeis bowe is eche nyght bent. He that shett the bolt is lyke to be schent.” Bro, are you tryin’ to get schent tonight?!
“Tinder Field” (Vagina)
In 1628, an nameless creator wrote in Robin Goodfellow, His Mad Pranks and Merry Jests: “Maids in your smocks, Looke nicely to your locks, and your tinder Boxe.”
“Wimble” (Penis)
Within the seventeenth century, individuals would go round saying stuff like, “My gallant wimble, my fairly boarer,” and “Panurge advised me, that his prancer, alias his nimble-wimble, was just like the unicorn.”
“Quoniam” (Vagina)
Chaucer’s again at it once more in 1386: “And trewely, as myne housbondes tolde me, I hadde the beste quonyam myghte be.”
“Adam’s” Something (Penis)
From the 18th by way of early twentieth century, you may name your neener Adam’s flute, whip, needle, dagger or arsenal.
“Chapel of Ease” (Vagina)
A chapel of ease is sort of a satellite tv for pc workplace for a church, permitting parishioners to cleanse their sins or no matter with out touring all the way in which to the principle campus. In 1600, writers Anthony Munday and Michael Drayton wrote this dialogue:
Sir John: Sirrah, dost thou not know {that a} good-fellow parson might haue a chapel of ease, the place his parish Church is farre off?
Har.: You whorson-stoned vicar!
“Sir Martin Wagstaff” (Penis)
There’s precisely one recognized occasion from 1653: “Sir Martin Wagstaff will carry out that Workplace… in default of a Cudgel.”
“Jack Nasty Face” (Vagina)
Greatest exemplified in an anecdote by a author named Jon Bee in 1823: “A woman from St. Bartholemew’s took a lee lurch, and threw a floor summerset backwards, when all would possibly plainly discern Jack nasty face.”
A Tempest of Phallic Euphemisms
The 1653 novel Gargantua and Pantagruel included this absolute banger: “And a number of the different ladies would give these names, my Roger, my cockatoo, my nimble-wimble, bush-beater, claw-buttock, evesdropper, pick-lock, pioneer, bully-ruffin, smell-smock, trouble-gusset, my lusty dwell sausage.”
