A band is a small group of buddies who carry devices like courageous baggage and chase one shared sound from storage to stage. The drummer is all the time late, the guitarist is all the time tuning, and the singer talks to everybody like the group is already cheering. They apply, argue, chortle, and preserve going as a result of the music feels larger than the noise they make alongside the way in which, they usually be taught that each rehearsal is a tiny journey that results in the identical door, that’s the place the enjoyable begins.
That’s the place the enjoyable begins when band jokes step onto the scene and observe the group like a pleasant shadow. These jokes are born from missed beats, tangled cables, and severe faces making an attempt very laborious to not smile, turning small struggles into tales price retelling. They glue the band collectively, assist the nerves relax, and remind everybody that music is healthier when it comes with laughter, even earlier than the primary observe is performed.
Finest Band Jokes
Why is Metallica the most secure band to hearken to in an airport?
As a result of they haven’t set off a steel detector since 1989.
I was in a band referred to as ‘Lacking Cat.’
You’ve most likely seen our posters.
Have you ever ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
In all probability not, they’ve by no means had successful.
What’s Sisyphus’s least favourite band?
Rolling Stones.
I’m in a band referred to as “The Palindromes.”
Our first single known as “If I had a HiFi.”
What’s a very powerful a part of a heavy steel band?
The lead singer.
What do you name a heavy steel band with monetary issues?
Megadebt.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Tuna.
(Tuna who?)
Tuna your bango and you may be in our band.
If Ellen DeGeneres and Anakin Skywalker fashioned a band, what sort of music would they play?
Elle-Vader music.
What do you name a gaggle of whales in a band?
An orca-stra.
Did you hear in regards to the musical group composed of dads?
A pop band!
Two new recruits have been on the deck of a ship.
One turns to the opposite and says, “Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn’t it?”
One other recruit replies, “Everybody should be watching the band.”
“There is no such thing as a band on this ship.”
“No, I undoubtedly heard the captain say, a band on ship.”
In case you ask me what my favourite rock band is and I’m being subjective, I’d say The Who.
If I used to be being goal, I’d say it was The Whom.
If Marie Antoinette, Anne Boleyn, Charles I, and Louis XVI fashioned a band, what would its identify be?
The Speaking Heads.
I began an emo salsa band.
We’re referred to as Hispanic on the Disco.
Why did they let the hen be a part of the band?
As a result of he introduced his personal drumsticks.
I went to a Russian Bee Gees cowl band live performance final week.
The KGBGs.
A virus is making folks neglect ’80s rock bands.
No person is aware of The Remedy.
What do you name a Japanese cowl band taking part in 70s music?
Mitsubeegees
Paddy was getting back from his vacation in America.
As he got here by Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulder. The Customs officer requested him what he had within the sacks? Paddy replied Cellphones.
The customs officer didn’t imagine him and requested to be proven. Paddy opened every sack, and positive sufficient, each sacks contained fairly a couple of telephones. “What are you going to do with all these cellphones requested the officer.
“Oh, they aren’t for me. My mate Mick, who’s in a band, knew I used to be going over to America requested me to deliver him again two saxophones.
What do you name a cow in a band?
A moosician.
We had a band in Excessive College referred to as 1023 Megabytes.
We by no means made it to a gig.
If a girl hangs round a rock band, they name her a groupie. However what do you name a man who hangs round a rock band?
A drummer.
What’s Indiana Jones’ least favourite band?
Rolling Stones.
Yo mama so silly, she thinks that the Stone Age was a rock band.
I used to play the triangle in a reggae band.
However I obtained bored and stop as a result of it was only one ting after one other.
What’s the favourite band on the Alzheimer’s residence?
“The who?!”
Do you hear in regards to the all-LBGT furry band?
The identify Satisfaction Rock.
John manages a band the place his canine performs guitar, and his cat sings.
Everyone seems to be amazed, and nobody understands how they’re doing it, and the band turns into an enormous hit. They journey across the nation, and John makes some huge cash from the band’s success.
Ultimately, phrase spreads to Italy, and Berlusconi needs to listen to the band stay. He invitations John to Rome, and John arrives along with his canine and cat, able to carry out.
Earlier than they play, Berlusconi begins the dialog and asks, “John, I don’t care about your precise band, I simply wish to know the key. How do you do it?”
John solutions, “I don’t do something. The canine performs guitar, and the cat sings. It’s that straightforward.”
Berlusconi presses him and responds, “Come on, John, simply inform me. There is no such thing as a method that is actual.”
John pushes again and explains, “Look, that is my livelihood. I can not go round telling the key. I make a profession out of this.”
Berlusconi insists and affords, “Cash is nothing to me. I’ll pay you no matter you need. Simply inform me the way you do it.”
John lastly admits, “Alright, I’ll let you know. The canine performs guitar and sings. The cat simply strikes its mouth and pretends.”
What do you name a music group consisting of solely married males?
A Hus Band.
We kicked the drummer out if the band as a result of his timing was terrible.
He was so upset he went to the station and threw himself behind a practice.
If Will Smith, Amber Heard, and Chris Brown fashioned a band, what would its identify be?
The Heavy Hitters.
Yo mama so fats, she jumped on the dance ground and made the band skip.
What’s a pirate’s favourite band?
Sea Sea Arrrr!
I like to choose ladies up at cowl band live shows.
Since I already know they’re keen to settle.
What do you name a computerized rock band?
ASCII/DSCII.
Which band witnesses essentially the most murders?
Counting crows.
The physician appears to be like on the report and explains, “You have got a illness, however we are able to deal with it.”
The affected person appears to be like apprehensive and asks, “What’s the treatment?”
The physician pauses, then replies with a straight face, “It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, however let’s attempt to keep targeted…”
What’s the most secure band to air drum to whereas driving?
Def Leppard.
I had my image taken with the band R.E.M. as soon as…
That’s me within the nook.
What occurred to Tom Petty’s band after he handed away?
Now they’re simply Heartbroken,
I prefer to sleep with a fan on me at evening.
It’s why I’m divorcing my spouse to hitch a band.
What’s Donald Trump’s least favourite band?
Foreigner.
I was in a band referred to as “The Hinges.”
We opened for The Doorways.
A 15-year-old child will get an upright bass and begins to take classes.
After his first lesson, his dad asks him, “What did you be taught at the moment?” “I realized to play the A observe.” After his second lesson, his dad asks once more, and he responds, “I realized to play the D observe.” After his third lesson, his dad asks once more, and he responds, “I realized to play the E observe.” After the fourth lesson, his dad asks, and the child responds, “I don’t want classes anymore. I’ve obtained a gig with a bluegrass band.”
Did you hear in regards to the mattress bug band?
They principally play covers.
Which four-member rock group doesn’t sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
Simply met a girl who mentioned she was an enormous Monkees fan.
She informed me she had collected every bit of merchandise ever made for the band. I used to be skeptical. Then I noticed her place…
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Weevil.
(Weevil who?)
Weevil, weevil ROCK YOU!
What’s Santa’s favourite heavy steel band?
Sleigher.
I’ve a Polish pal who’s a roadie for a band.
I’ve a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.
In response to fellow band members, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler handles a pen very femininely. Hearsay has it he doodles like a girl.
Did you hear about an outdated Australian band whose knees are dangerous?
They’re altering the identify of the band to ACL/DCL.
Just a little Mexican woman dreamed of taking part in the guitar.
Her identify was Maria. She was very poor, however she knew that sooner or later she could be a well-known entertainer. One sunny morning, she found a makeshift vihuela deserted behind an area store. Ecstatic, she raced residence and instantly began practising.
Whereas rigorously fingering a chord exterior of her home, a Taoist monk handed by. He was stuffed with such pleasure that he positioned his hand upon her head and blessed her. Abruptly, her arms flew throughout the strings, gracefully, as if she had been born with the instrument.
Within the coming years, Maria held pricey the meditative powers handed on to her by the monk, and she or he finally turned the chief of a powerful five-piece band.
And that’s the story of how Maria Chi got here to be.
Did you hear in regards to the lumberjack and the mathematician who fashioned a band?
They referred to as themselves The Loggerhythms.
Why did the neurodiverse band break up?
Autistic variations.
A person asks a bartender: “How late does the band play?”
“Solely about half a beat behind the drummer.” The bartender replies.
What do you name a band that’s obsessive about typography?
Itallica.
I don’t perceive why Ice Dice hates the police a lot…
They’re a extremely good band
What’s Indiana Jones’s least favourite band?
The Rolling Stones.
Why must you by no means be a part of a band with a turkey on drums?
You’ll remorse it. He often forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.
There as soon as was a person named Mr. Evans who pursued a legislation diploma, though his ardour was music. All by legislation college, he yearned to drop out and play in a canopy band, singing Beatles songs all evening to a crowd of followers. Ultimately, although, the person turned a lawyer as an alternative.
Via the years, he turned a extremely esteemed practitioner of legislation. He rose in his apply of jurisprudence till sooner or later he even turned a county decide. He got here residence and informed his spouse that he nonetheless wasn’t glad. Regardless of all the things, singing the Beatles was nonetheless his dream. She informed her next-door neighbor, Megan, who informed her husband, Tom.
Tom mentioned, “We’ve recognized Decide Evans his entire life. He’s attending to retirement age. It’d be a disgrace if he by no means obtained to understand his true dream.”
Megan agreed, and after speaking with Mrs. Evans, they conspired to make the decide’s dream come true. For Meg and Tom’s thirtieth anniversary get together, they’d ask Decide Evans to play music.
Decide Evans confirmed as much as Meg and Tom’s home. He was sheepish, however agreed to sing “Hey Jude.” To Tom’s shock, he sounded identical to John Lennon! They gave him the gig with out a second thought.
Elated, Mr. Evans referred to as up a couple of of his buddies down on the nation membership and located a drummer, a bass participant, and a guitarist. They wore bell-bottoms and headbands, even wanting the half!
The group confirmed as much as the get together and began singing “Yellow Submarine.” To Meg and Tom’s horror, the guitar was out of tune, the drummer was off-beat, and Mr. Evans’ accompanying vocalists have been atrocious.
Tom turned to Meg and mentioned, “I assume we should always’ve listened to the age-old adage.”
“Oh?” Meg requested.
“By no means e book a Decide by his cowl.”
Needed to stop my band after no person got here to any of our gigs.
Going to overlook the boys from “Personal Operate”.
What’s the distinction between alcohol and weed?
5 drunk guys will begin a struggle. 5 stoned guys will begin a band.
Steve Winwood as soon as requested me to be part of his band.
Finally, I declined his provide after remembering what my dad all the time informed me.
“Son, bear in mind to by no means play in site visitors.”
What’s it referred to as when the band fires you as a sound tech since you put delay on the drums?
Repercussion.
Our band most likely won’t ever break up over “inventive variations”.
We aren’t inventive sufficient to have any variations.
What’s the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ favourite band?
The doorways.
Which band used to drive a truck for Quaker?
Corridor’n Oates.
What do you name a “Gulf and Western” singer who’s gained method an excessive amount of weight?
Jimmy Hit the Buffett.
What do you name a band that agrees with something?
Sure.
What do you name a band that you just don’t know any of the members?
The Who?
What do you name a band that likes to play infantile video games?
The Guess Who.
There was a Swedish rock band that used swear phrases to show math.
They have been referred to as ABBACUSS.
Did you hear in regards to the drummer who obtained kicked out of his band for having horrible timing?
He obtained so depressed that he threw himself behind a rushing bus!
My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary, I purchased her a brand new drum equipment.
It was a cymbal of my love.
Did you hear in regards to the band referred to as the Radiators?
They have been a heat up act.
Some crocodiles determined to get collectively and sing parody songs?
It’s a pun-croc band.
Ever heard of that Hebrew steel band?
Weapons N’ Moses.
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What’s Will Smith’s favourite band?
Smash Mouth.
Now for our subsequent band, please welcome The Subtractions…
Take it away, boys…
What’s Elon Musk’s favourite band?
30 Seconds to Mars.
There was a woman band, and the names of every member have been:
Anna1
Anna2
Anna1234
I came upon about this cool underground band referred to as The Beatles.
Properly, truly, solely about half of them are underground for the time being.
Why do Ska Bands make the perfect DoorDash drivers?
As a result of when you order meals they’ll decide it up, decide it up, decide it up.
What did the employee on the rubber band manufacturing facility say when he was fired?
“Oh snap.”
I simply began a brand new band referred to as ‘Blankets and Duvets.’
We’ve already been referred to as the perfect cowl band of all time.
What did the chiropractor observe down after a profitable session treating a complete boy band?
Backstreet’s again: alright.
Mr Potato Head simply joined our brass band.
He’s the First Tuber.
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What do you name a gaggle of preteen ladies taking part in musical devices?
A menarching band.
The band Foreigner has launched a brand new North American tour.
They’ll be referred to as Home within the States although.
Why don’t the members of Phish put peanut butter on their toast?
Trigger they’re a jam band!
What did the maths division professors name their new band?
The Algorhythms.
Why did the folks dance to the vegetable band?
As a result of it had beet.
In case you get lemonade whenever you ask a lemon for assist, what do you get whenever you ask a band for assist?
The Beatles.
What do you name a bunch of strawberries in a band collectively?
A jam session.
What’s a Muslim’s favourite band?
Quran Quran.
Heard in regards to the vegetarian steel band?
Quorn!
What’s the zoologist’s favourite band?
The animals.
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Why did the music instructor get referred to as in entrance of the varsity board?
His workplace was filled with band books.
What’s the king’s favourite band?
Queen.
We named our band Windmill.
So folks would assume we had a pretty big fan base.
What do you name a band of potty coaching toddlers?
Rage in opposition to the Latrine.
Ever heard of the band ‘The Damaged Down Vehicles’?
Not shocking, they didn’t go anyplace.
What rock band does pneumonia like the perfect?
Weezer.
Which band is greatest to see throughout winter?
Coldplay.
What do you name a steel band in a monetary disaster?
Megadebt.
Why is Rage Towards the Machine such exercise playlist?
In all probability as a result of they’re a resistance band.
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Which rock band do mummies love most?
The Grateful Lifeless.
What’s an ice cream’s favourite band?
Churney.
Do you know Vivaldi and Bach failed to start out their very own band?
The couldn’t get a Handel on it.
Which ’80s rock band is banned from New Orleans, and why?
The Scorpions. Each time they’re on the town, they rock you want a hurricane.
What do you get whenever you cross an ’80s hair band with a fish?
BonChovy.
Why is the guitarist often the chief of the band?
As a result of he’s the one pulling the strings.
Did you hear in regards to the lawsuit in opposition to the rock band U2?
The plaintiffs misplaced the case as a result of their lawyer was professional Bono.
Which rock band is sponsored by Nabisco?
OREO Speedwagon.
What’s a raccoon’s favourite band?
Rubbish.
Why do pace steel teams stand to date other than one another on stage?
As a result of pace is restricted by band width.
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Which band was method forward of their time within the stage lighting division?
LED Zeppelin.
What’s Hank Hill’s favourite steel band?
Professional-Ache.
What do you name paramedics at a rock live performance?
Band help.
Why was the band director struck by lightning throughout a live performance?
He was conductor.
Did you hear in regards to the gingerbread man who went to battle?
He misplaced his leg in Nom.
He later fashioned a band referred to as Limp Bizkit.
What’s the band that doesn’t sing?
Dis-band.
There’s a controversial band that consists solely of mountains.
Chances are you’ll not prefer it, however that is what peaks performing appears to be like like.
What do you name the Indian member of an Indie band?
An Indie-an.
What’s identify for a Star Trek-themed band made up of nihilists?
Existence is Futile.
What do you name a rock band of felons that travels throughout the nation?
A contour.
Which ’90s grunge band was essentially the most bodily match?
The Stone Temple Pilates.
What’s the greatest band to hearken to when searching in Pokemon Go?
pOK GO.
What did the bones identify their band?
The Skeletones.
What do you name a band filled with pigs?
The Remedy.
Do you have got a humorous Band Joke? Write down your greatest jokes within the remark part under!
